One of the things we find ourselves doing evenings here (since the modern world provides us with so much leisure time!) is watching German TV. More accurately, Catherine watches German TV while I do something else, because I can't understand too much of it. Unless, of course, she finds something that needs no translation. Like Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II. That one can pretty much speak for itself. In fact, it might be even better if I don't know what they're saying. Just take a minute and a half and see what I mean:
I've always joked that I loved the fifteen minutes of the old Godzilla movies I've seen, but I don't think I would ever have watched more without serendipity intervening. (Fifteen minutes of guys in suits blowing up cities seems about right, really.) But Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II offers something a little bit more: a baby Godzilla, for starters. He's so cute with his big old eyes (that occasionally turn red like he's going to burn a hole through you), and the woman scientist charged with studying him adheres to the anime cliche of calling out his name, "Baby," whenever he crosses her mind. She then strokes his monstrous face. Oh, and he can apparently only eat plants because his teeth are so round and soft. Plant-eater godzillasaur.
No wait, it gets better. Because the rampaging monster has a new foe in a giant robot Godzilla, created by someone who looks a lot like the UN. Obviously, the best way to deal with a giant rampaging mutated dinosaur is to create a giant rampaging robot dinosaur piloted by the UN's finest. And then equip it with some sort of plasma cannon and laser beams for eyes. That sounds cost effective. But I digress.
The absolute campiness of the film, which was made in 1993 by the way, gets really fun if you approach it with your guard down, like I did, because I started out with it just in the background. Seriously, a guy in a rubber suit was never so entertaining as when he was blowing up Kyoto with his laser-mouth (poor Tokyo has had enough by this, the 20th Godzilla flick.) I kept thinking I would get annoyed, but I wasn't. It was like seeing children play in a quiet meadow with a brook murmuring in the distance and birds a-twitter in the trees. Except they were shooting plasma beams out of their mouths and knocking over sky scrapers and stomping on each others' heads in this really funny disregard for any sense of honorable fighting.
Half the time the shots were filmed from a perspective to make Godzilla look like the villain, half the time Mechagodzilla seemed like the villain (which obviously makes sense, because humanity doesn't really have the right to defend itself from irradiated dinosaurs.) But it doesn't really matter who was the villain, because Godzilla always miraculously revived whenever they wanted, so Mechagodzilla didn't really have a chance. Even after they combine robots to make Super Mechagodzilla. Even after they blew up Godzilla's second brain in his hips with a surgical probe attached by cable to Mechagodzilla. (That time, Rodan reappeared and inexplicably sacrificed himself to save Godzilla by turning into magic dust that makes Godzilla's laser red). In the end, humanity had to call upon Baby Godzilla to intercede with mighty Godzilla, because Mechagodzilla was totally destroyed (again). Good thing Baby Godzilla had a psychic link with one of the scientists. And good thing he likes to eat plants, not your head.
I think Baby's central role to humanity's continued existence explains the purpose of a two-minute love interest scene. About halfway through the film, two of the main characters flew around on a little pterodactyl robot and seemed perfectly in love. That thread was not developed later, possibly because I think the woman fell in love with "Baby."
I'm not saying you should run out to Redbox and get yourself a monster flick. I'm just saying, sometimes you like things that you can't imagine liking when you think about it. And not even in a "oh-how-kitzchy" way. Just in a "that was awesome" way.
And that's how we roll in Germany, apparently. Or in Japan. Or wherever I am.
I've always joked that I loved the fifteen minutes of the old Godzilla movies I've seen, but I don't think I would ever have watched more without serendipity intervening. (Fifteen minutes of guys in suits blowing up cities seems about right, really.) But Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II offers something a little bit more: a baby Godzilla, for starters. He's so cute with his big old eyes (that occasionally turn red like he's going to burn a hole through you), and the woman scientist charged with studying him adheres to the anime cliche of calling out his name, "Baby," whenever he crosses her mind. She then strokes his monstrous face. Oh, and he can apparently only eat plants because his teeth are so round and soft. Plant-eater godzillasaur.
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| Tell me you don't just want to go up and pet it. |
The absolute campiness of the film, which was made in 1993 by the way, gets really fun if you approach it with your guard down, like I did, because I started out with it just in the background. Seriously, a guy in a rubber suit was never so entertaining as when he was blowing up Kyoto with his laser-mouth (poor Tokyo has had enough by this, the 20th Godzilla flick.) I kept thinking I would get annoyed, but I wasn't. It was like seeing children play in a quiet meadow with a brook murmuring in the distance and birds a-twitter in the trees. Except they were shooting plasma beams out of their mouths and knocking over sky scrapers and stomping on each others' heads in this really funny disregard for any sense of honorable fighting.
Half the time the shots were filmed from a perspective to make Godzilla look like the villain, half the time Mechagodzilla seemed like the villain (which obviously makes sense, because humanity doesn't really have the right to defend itself from irradiated dinosaurs.) But it doesn't really matter who was the villain, because Godzilla always miraculously revived whenever they wanted, so Mechagodzilla didn't really have a chance. Even after they combine robots to make Super Mechagodzilla. Even after they blew up Godzilla's second brain in his hips with a surgical probe attached by cable to Mechagodzilla. (That time, Rodan reappeared and inexplicably sacrificed himself to save Godzilla by turning into magic dust that makes Godzilla's laser red). In the end, humanity had to call upon Baby Godzilla to intercede with mighty Godzilla, because Mechagodzilla was totally destroyed (again). Good thing Baby Godzilla had a psychic link with one of the scientists. And good thing he likes to eat plants, not your head.
I think Baby's central role to humanity's continued existence explains the purpose of a two-minute love interest scene. About halfway through the film, two of the main characters flew around on a little pterodactyl robot and seemed perfectly in love. That thread was not developed later, possibly because I think the woman fell in love with "Baby."
I'm not saying you should run out to Redbox and get yourself a monster flick. I'm just saying, sometimes you like things that you can't imagine liking when you think about it. And not even in a "oh-how-kitzchy" way. Just in a "that was awesome" way.
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| Behold, yet another rumble in the urban jungle! |
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